Who are you???

This Is How It Always Is

Laurie Frankel

Published Date: January 23, 2018

Published By: Flatiron Books

Month Read: November / December 2020

Summary: Who are you when your gender assigned at birth does not match how you feel both inside and out? This is what Claude questions as from a very young age he knows he wants to be a girl when he grows up. This story is as much about Claude and his acceptance of his self as transgender as a story of family members and friends, who grapple with this too. In the end, a trip to Thailand helps Claude and family realize that they have to support each other whole-heartedly to navigate life.

Thoughts:

• As the reader, I almost gave up on the book when they decided to go to Thailand. It did not seem to align with the story and appeared more like a panicked escape.

• The term transgender is not used much in the story. Even when Claude’s mother realizes that there are many transgender in Thailand who feel like Claude. The difference is that there is an acceptance of them by society.

• What turned my thoughts around about the book was the comparison of Claude with Buddha. I was not expecting this reference to Buddha and the middle way path as young Claude taught English to the orphans through stories. Buddha in the US tends to be represented as male but the book’s explanation made the Buddha more about how the person feels and less about their physical appearance. There are both male and female aspects with the Buddha as it is stated that “we are all the Buddha.”

Do you accept yourself wholly for who you are?